Monday, May 20, 2013

Letters from God

The last five months have been a true test in our lives. Test of faith, test of skill, test of our emotional and spiritual strength. Words cannot describe the highs and lows, and for those close family and say our life has been a rollercoaster? Maybe the understatement of the year.  It are times like these, I tend to rely on faith and the belief that absolutely everything happens for a reason. As much as I can sit here and type that statement, I know my human heart and mind can drastically disagree. It's as if I give it up to God, and my sub-conscience say, "Oh wait, just kidding....I'd like that back now."

After questioning the 'why' over and over again. It might as well jumped up and smacked me in the face recently. We might think we have control; we might think we have a timeline and ideas of what our lives should look like...but not even close.

It is times like today, I like to imagine the Big Man Upstairs sitting down and writing me a letter. In my mind it would go something like this:

Dear Maura,

I know you think you have a lot going on right now. Truth be told, to you, you do. A little one running all over tarnation, juggling the day-to-day in your life, Jeff's crazy-busy schedule...just to name a few. 

The last several months I've heard you. I've heard you your whole life. While I know I have placed a few obstacles in your path, have I ever failed to bring you out of them? The next time I choose to try and test you, or have something better in mind, please just trust Me. I promise, I will not disappoint you in the end.

I love you,

P.S. I hope we don't have to have this conversation again. 

Maybe that's some crazy piece of imagination. Something my mind wandered upon during my 55 minute commute to/from work? Possibly. Nonetheless, in this moment, I have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for where I am in my life. My Faith, Family, Friends...and yes, Football. I continue to be the biggest believer in everything happens for a reason, and in the timing it is to happen. Looking back on my life thus far, I have nothing that would argue differently.

Now, about that giving it up and trust issue... my human-hard-head often has a different response email that would follow. But in the end it would be wrong. Maybe I should just heed the advice of my beloved Aunt Jane... "In the end, it will all be OK. If it's not OK, don't's not the end."

Two of my favorite bible verses: